How to be Charming

in Eye-contact

 

When you think of charming individuals that you know, or charming acquaintances you’ve met, what do they seem to have that others don’t?  Likely they were able to make you feel at “home”, interesting and feeling as though you had a sense of importance.  This is something that each of us has instilled in us, it is just something that not each of us has brought out.  There is an art to being charming, and when you learn how to be charming, you have an entire new world of opportunity and friendships.  It is an art that should be learned by each individual, as life is short, and it is important to make the best out of each day we are here on earth. 

How to Be Charming

The first thing to a charming personality is to be interesting and to be interested.  If you don’t appear interested in those around you, you aren’t going to come across as a charming individual.  You must learn to make people feel interesting.  Pay attention to the individual that you are speaking with and learn the art of conversation.  Also, know when to talk and when not to talk.  Being charming doesn’t mean that you are indeed interested, but, you appear as though you are.  Learn to ask questions, speak with a tone that is genuine and make the other feel as important as you’d like to feel.

When you are introduced to someone make not to remember the person’s name.  During your initial conversation, use the person’s name, which not only helps them to gain a feeling of importance, but, helps you to remember their name, and enhances the conversation, as the person begins to warm up to you and feels that you are a genuine person that they would like to know. 

Be friendly with strangers, family members and friends.  Everyone likes someone that they feel they can connect to and someone that channels positive energy to them is definitely someone that they can connect to.  Being friendly helps warm up the process of getting to know one another and helps others to feel more comfortable around you.  Most importantly, always be kind.  People, like animals, need to know that they are cared about, and simple gestures, like paying attention, smiling with your eyes, and a pleasant tone are all important to develop your charm. 

Being charming is also the ability to be interested in topics that interest others, even when you have no interest.  For instance, if you are speaking with someone that is interested in sports, then know how to respond and relate so that you seem as though you are truly interested and curious about what they have to say.  Ask questions to build a rapport with the person. 

When you are interesting, interested and have the willingness to engage in topics others find you charming.  But, don’t be overpowering.  There is nothing worse than the person that “knows it all”. 

Another important factor in how to be charming is the control of the tone of your voice.  You want a voice that is calm and relaxed and conveys that you have peace.  When it comes to the tone of your voice, practice.  Take a tape recorder and speak as though you were speaking to a friend or stranger and listen to yourself.  Can you improve your tone?  If so, practice on improving the tone of your voice.

You also want to pay attention to the manner in which you convey your speech.  Don’t use slang.  Be clear and polite with your words and try to stay away from negative subjects and energies. 

Compliments are also a biggie when it comes to being charming, but the compliments need to be sincere.  Don’t compliment for a brownie point.  Make certain that the compliment is deserved.  When you offer compliments, others experience a rise in their self-esteem and the world is brightened.  Also, when you are complimented yourself, know how to accept the compliment.  Be gracious and accepting and let them know your appreciation with not just a “thank you”, but, something more, such as, I am pleased that you like it, or that is very nice of you.

Also, in your development to learn how to be charming you must realize that charming people do not gossip.  Consider this.  If you are able to speak badly of someone to one person, that individual is going to walk away feeling that they might be your next victim, and that you could also speak negatively of them.  When you are a charming personality, you are a trusting personality, and focus on never bringing anyone else down, or bad mouthing other individuals. 

Listening is also important.  Can you engage in a conversation with another and truly listen?  This will need to be part of your development of how to be charming.  You should be able to listen and be passionate about what others convey to you. 

Eye contact is also important.  Like mentioned earlier, being charming is being trusted and interested and without the proper eye contact others will not find you charming.  It is important that while you are engaged in a conversation that you maintain eye contact.  Don’t be easily distracted by the first thing that comes into the room and break eye contact.  Let the other individual know that where you are at, and who you are with is important by maintaining eye contact. 

There is a power to charm and when you learn how to be charming, you definitely possess the power that will attract others to you.  Being charming is a total package, from the gestures, such as your winning smile, to eye contact, to your pleasant tone.  When you possess charm, you have the admiration of others, and you will go the places that you want to go, with who you want to be there with.

 

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How to be Charming

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This article was published on 2012/04/07